Author Archives: Dora Dora πŸ“

That Girl πŸ™‡

She is that kind of girl who goes all cheery but is slowly dying inside. She is that kind of girl who gets easily confuse on making her decisions because she is always afraid of the consequences. She is that kind of girl who reads Papertowns over and over again because she wishes she could be as bold and free like Margo Spielgman. She is that kind of girl who has crazy ideas and interests and people often find her different and weird that they often get away from her presence. She is that kind of girl who facades strength and courage as part of her character but honestly, she is the opposite. She is that kind of girl who loves to hang with people who she can talk to without pretenses or prejudice or prejudgement and thus, she dont really have someone to talk to because of her preferences. She is that of girl who almost everyone relies to have solution to their problems but she cannot even win over her depression and anxiety. She is that kind of girl that everbody says is pretty but she cannot see that and everyday her insecurities build up like her wall. She is that kind of girl that feels satisfaction building her wall up and up and up. 

But then, as her wall increases, he gets each brick down without her knowing. He, everyday, assures her of her beauty that she cannot see. He gives her food and ice cream so she could forget about her depression and anxiety. He listens to her when no one can even that means he’ll get to sleep late. He become her strength and courage when she was terribly down and when she could not get back up yet, he waits patiently for her.In her weirdness, he support her and encourage her to be as unique as she can be. He never fails to let her feel that she can be whoever she wants and that he is there to catch her whenever her plan fails. He, as always, assures her that she is more than Margo Spielgman and that she is more bold and free if she wishes to be and that she should not be afraid to chase her inner peace because he will be there to wait for her and when she gets tired, carry her and together do the chasing. And, when she is confuse on making decisions, he calms her down and offers logical suggestions in her aide but never tries to decide for her because he respect her that much that he lets her chose what she wants. He is the only one that sees that cheery girl is dying inside and he does everything to revive her and give her his life every single day even it means sacrifice, hardships and cold battles. He fights for her and support her every single fight with herself. 

They said that behind every great king is a patient queen but I say, behind the great me is a great and patient man. I may not as easy as I seem to be but every day he never failed to make me feel loved and beyond blessed. He was the miracle that was given to me when all I see is no hope. And, amidst my every struggle and battles in my own universe, I know I have to win life because it is the only little thing that I can do for the man who have given every breath to save my life.

Saranghae, oppa. You know who you are πŸ’•

My Thirteen Reasons Why

Okay. My boyfriend already warned me to not read the book Thirteen Reasons Why because he knows anytime I could have my mental breakdowns (moments when I uncontrollably cry and eventually hurt myself). But I just couldn’t stop myself from doing so because like all the characters, I am also looking for my reasons.. for my whys.

I am struggling to keep myself alive every single day. It is not because I am physically sick but because I do not have the will to live. I do not know why or when it started. I guess it just happened. Well, there were events that I do not want to put into details that contributed generously enough to why though.

I am not clinically depressed since I do not want to meet any therapist but I know I am depressed person. Do not misjudge when I said I don’t want to meet a therapist, it is just I don’t know what to say if I’ll be ask if how I was doing because honestly, I don’t even have the slighest idea. 

Let me described to you as honestly and as many descriptive words I could. So, every day it feels like hollow empty black hole but somehow a beautiful one. It is like a milky way; a beauty but scary. You just don’t have the idea what is in there or what is gonna happen next. Why I say it is a beauty then? I do not know either. It feels just like it. You get to observed everyone and anything, see the of their existence and many more but only just like that. You get to see them and be with them but you feel an outcast. Okay. I fail. I cannot really described it well. It is more than happy, sad, lonely or sad. It is not even being neutral because neutral is choosing. You got the choice not to feel and I don’t. Someone died inside me. I want to revive her but I think I lost her forever.

Have I thought about suicide? Every day. I just trying to cling so must not into fall into that pit. And, that makes me feel more into it. As I try to push it aside, it keeps coming back. I am even now afraid of it. I am trying so hard to find my why. Why do I have it? Why must keep living? Why I must fight it? More whys and whys and whys.

People mostly think that offering an encouraging words, being positive, listening and being there are the very magic that chase it away. Wrong. No. It does not work that way. It is a fight between myself and I. I really do not know what one can offer to help me because right now I think no one any anything can help.

How about family? Friends? Lover? Well, they do not understand. They may say they do but I know they do not. 

I guess I already tried everything. Travel, poetry, writing journals, books and a lot more but they only help temporarily. My mind is constanly talking, thinking and I cannot keep up with it.And even though I try all these, they just don’t work for me big time. 

What will be my thirteen reasons why? Why I should? Why I should not?

Ps: 

Words are raw. Do.not.judge.or.talk.about.me.to.anyone

Pramis πŸ˜₯πŸ’Έ

Because of excitement sa new blog, I wanted to go to a new place and write about it. But, what I had gained is only “stress”. Nastress ko sa akong gigasto! For that, I came to a realization that I do not want to look yayamanin but no money in the wallet. Maka bother bes, pramis! Tagam si ateng! 😭😭😭

Unya kay gutom man gyapon bes, nag Mcdo jud ko. πŸ˜‚ I ordered chicken sandwich and iced coffee vanilla for only P74.00! Clap clap πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

We’ll I think my first Dora travel failed. But nonetheless, I have lot of realizations. 

First, do not be who you are not. I came to see that maybe a lot of bloggers are that way. To be able to deliver in their blogs, they ought to do things that are way out of their wallet or maybe they are just yayamin (who knows πŸ˜‚). But for me who is a middle class girl, this should not be done again.πŸ™…πŸ™… I am not the type that goes cafe hopping and I am surely not a fan of cafes that are not sulit. I have become who I am not for an hour just to please the world. How stupid! Did that make me happy? Yes but for a little while. I felt I fit in but then I grew conscious and worried. I have to keep it up or feel an outcast again which is not fun at all! 😩 Kaya mga bes tinapos ko ang aking pagpapanggap at lumabas sa cafe shop! πŸ˜‚

Second, keep it real! πŸ’ͺ The world is already full of “pretenders”. So, why not be real this time? Share only what is true and right. Charot! πŸ˜‚

Third, do things that makes you happy because those who think that all the ka-echosan matters does not matter. πŸ’… Kung hindi ka jan masaya edi umalis ka. Wanting to fit in is a necessity for us. We always associate fitting in with happiness. To achieve that, many of us do things that are relatable to others even it is something that we don’t usually do. That stigma should be stopped already! You don’t have to pressure yourself to be just like the others. Real people fits you in without you trying to be who they are. Learn to be happy without the consent of other people. You don’t need them to be happy. 

What made me happy? Chilling at home.😍

Kaya from this time on, I promise to be as true as I can be πŸ˜‡ and I will write mostly for myself and not for anyone. πŸ’ͺ Chos! πŸ˜‚

Because those who mind does not matter and those who matter does not mind. -Dr. Seuss

Kaya sa mga Judgemental jan, Chupe! πŸ˜‚

-Adrasteia πŸ‘‘πŸ’•

Tenant Shop πŸ‘Œ

This shop is along Kamagong street. Just at the ground floor of Solace. 

Its nice and cozy. Private, that would be the word to best decsribe this little shop. Not that little tho, it got second floor. πŸ˜‚ 

Though it is cute and cool, Bes ang presyo! 😱 It is cheap to look at the menu but bes check ⬇

Plain croissant and cold latte. Price? 240.00! I cry! It is not sulit! 😭😭😭 But, since I am here na, lets make the most of it. Therefore, I am settling with the positive thought that I am here because of the the place -wifi and airconditioned. πŸ˜‚

But still, thumbs up for the place πŸ‘. 

But besh, definitely I am not going back. Mag MCDO na lang ko πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Still, I am recommending this for all the yayamanin introvert out there! This place is perfect for you! πŸ˜šπŸ˜˜πŸ˜™

Book Sale! πŸ“–

Way  two Saturdays back, I was itching to buy  a new book. Thrifty as I am or what I want to claim to be πŸ’, I went out to find the nearest book store I can find that sells old books. Thanks to Google Map, I found this store ⬇

(Credits to Nan De Guzman)

I know anyone can easily go to Booksale store since it is basically everywhere but person it was a joy to find it near my home πŸ™†. I can actually just “walk it away” .πŸ’ͺ 

The store is located along Chino Roces Avenue (going to Waltermart Makati). It is inside the Makati Square. 

It is just right after the Afficionado stall. Just go straight in (do not turn right! I went that way and realized how stupid I was! I went in circles!!! 😱😱.)

Anyway, I bought 3 books from my favorite author and it had only costs me around P330.00. How cool is that!!! 😎 

What I appreciate with this store is that books are somehow neatly piled up. It is really easy to find the books you want since they are all in one place. πŸ‘ The staff are friendly as well. πŸ‘

I’ll definitely go back for new books! πŸ‘Œ

The Blog!

SOOOOO, I am starting this blog just for the sake of fulfilling my bucketlist πŸ“‹ which includes having a blog. 

But! πŸ™… Dont get me wrong, I want to write and I just do not know how or when to start given that many blogs about travels, foods and whatsoever had been springing up lately. And, apparently, I am not that good in expressing my thoughts 😧😧😧. But nonetheless, I am starting this blog for myself. (Well, that means that I do not need your opinion or comments so just fuck off if you do not like my blog stupid person! πŸ™‹).

Anyway, this blog will be all about my “galas“. Hence, the “Dora Dora πŸ“” title. 😎

I better get off starting, Ciao! πŸ‘Œ


πŸ™ˆπŸ™‰πŸ™ŠπŸ’©,

Courageous Adrasteia πŸ‘‘